CGF: LIES! FILTHY HUMAN LIES! 10

Emerging from the earth, the onset of robotic vines chucked the frazzled crew down right in front of their cabins. Then within the blink of an eye they disappeared back down into the pit and resealed it, as if it were never there.

While the group picked themselves off the ground an awkward silence of confusion filled the space. Finally, Danny decided to state the obvious fact everyone was thinking about, “Well… That was strangest kidnapping ever.”

“And pointless, why would he kidnap us just to put us back where we were going anyways?” Dipper pondered as he dusted himself off.

Almost the entire crew looked towards Dib for an explanation. To which he crankily replied, “I have no idea. But that was pretty stupid, even by Zim standards. I think he was gonna keep us down there longer, but then decided last minute to change his mind. I don’t know why though…”

While the others began to speak up and ponder Mandy just rolled her eyes, “I think it’s pretty obvious.”

Dib whirled around and sarcastically snapped at her, “Really Mandy! What is it then?”

 “The alien doesn’t want his enemies to see him cry. Simple as that.” She replied dryly, looking down at her nails.

A strange voice came from one of the cabins at that statement, it was best described as sounding like an Irken with a British accent and whose voice had been rubbed raw by sandpaper, “Ah yes, Zim has always been one to conceal his more tender nature.”

The whole group spun around to see a disturbingly tall, anorexic green figure exit the boy’s cabin and tower over the campers. Shyly, it looked out at the group, hunching in over himself, “Hello.”

Several campers shrieked while Mabel hurled her flashlight at the giant green mutant. However this time around, he quickly ducked and slowly continued out of the cabin, taking each step slowly as if approaching a wounded wolf. And his five blue-eyed posse followed closely behind, quickly waving to Mabel. She only grew further confused and decided to start demanding answers.

“Who are you and what are you doing with my babies!”

“You may call me Sal, and I have recently become friends with these lovely gentlemen.” Sal quickly looked back to the boys who gave him a reassuring smile.

“What are you?”

“I… I’m not even sure what I could call myself, I’ve been changing quite a bit as of recently.” Dipper gave Dib a questioning look, but unfortunately neither he nor Lilo had ever seen a creature much like him and were just as confused as he was. “Might I now ask who you all are?”

As the best communicator with aliens and monsters, Lilo decided to approach Sal and the ex–Boy-Band, while Stitch, Dib, Dipper and Mabel unconsciously drew closer behind her forming a sort of barrier. “We are a group of paranormal researchers on a summer retreat. I’m Lilo, this is my dog Stitch, and these are my good friends: Dipper, Dib, and Mabel.” As she gestured to each of her friends, the monster’s red eyes looked over each individual; Dib couldn’t help but notice that the way his pupils moved and analyzed reminded him of a much shorter green monster. He also couldn’t help but pity the monster as the creature was obviously trying his hardest to appear as a friendly, safe, sane person… But no matter what he did his appearance made him seem so unsettling. Sal just looked so creepy and grotesque and just so … wrong.

Nevertheless, Sal still tried to be as mannerly and gracious as his body and voice could allow.”Well it a pleasure to be properly acquainted with you all. Now where I might find my um… shall we say, estranged little friend.”

Dib immediately noted how Sal’s eyes grew shifty at that statement, scanning over the crowds, obviously looking for a flash of green skin. “Zim’s not here.” Dib decided bluntly. “You know he wants nothing to do with you, right? Why are you so interested in him exactly?”

While Mabel shot Dib an irritated look at interrupting, Sal’s wrinkly face seemed to sag even more as he looked down and gave one of the most heart-wrenching sighs anyone had ever heard. “I have to confess, I never have been much of a good guy… In fact, I’ve spent most of my life in the dark, lost in the madness of my mind, ignorant to the repercussions to my actions… But I finally started putting myself back together and I’m trying to change for the better now. I want to try and make it up to as many of those I’ve hurt as I can. Even if it does goes against my nature... Then again, I’ve changed so much… I- I don’t even know what is supposed to be in my nature… But I need to at least try and make things right.”

The group was taken aback Sal. But in truth, what does one even say to a statement like that? Lilo, approached Sal and gently, stitch silently following at her heels ready to spring to action. Looking up to the monster, her eyes being only a small window to the steadily developing plan being formed in her mind. “Would you like to talk to Zim?”

While, Sal’s eyes shined with hope, the entire group suddenly burst into objection, all but Mandy who merely rolled her eyes and looked off into the misty woods.

“Are you insane Lilo!?!”

“That alien kid almost killed us down there!”

“You guys said this dude stalked you in the woods, and suddenly he gives a sob story and we can automatically trust him?”

“Are you sure you’re thinking this through?”

Finally having enough, Mabel decided to use her camp councilor powers to silence the entire crowd, especially her brother and his big-headed friend. “EVERYBODY SHUT YOUR FACES!” Almost instantly, everyone shut up (not really from legit submission, but more from shock of seeing such a happy fun girl like Mabel explode into a fiery rage.) Finally having everyone’s attention, Mabel continued, “Out of everyone here, Lilo is by far the biggest expert in extraterrestrial stuff.” While she spoke, she did chose to ignore the half-angry-half-crestfallen look that crossed Dib’s face, “She’s the one who’s spent most of her life helping aliens with their social issues and mental health and really cool stuff like that, so it would only make sense that she be the one taking charge of this situation!” Slightly reassuring the group, Mabel turned to her friend, “So what’s the plan Lilo?”

"Well..."

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Hundreds of miles underground, a small little alien sat curled up in his giant chair, crying while eating what appeared to be a gallon of Irken ice-cream. Gir and Minimoose sat on either side of him, both at a lost to try and comfort their master. “W-w-why would they do this to Zim!”

"They just don't understand you, sir" Those words would've sounded nicer if they hadn't come from the snarky voice of Zim's computer.

“I’ve always been loyal to the Empire… They said I was an invader… Th-they said I was special!” Pathetically, he hiccupped a little as he tried to eat more, “Zim isn’t a d-d-defect… I can’t be a d-defect…" Gir tried snuggling into his master's side, unfortunately his metal frame gave little comfort and Zim hissed in annoyance while more tears dribbled down his face. "Today has been a terrible day Gir..."